'Not much fun driving back home alone, when you also stay alone, after a late night show of Talaash...'...This was the status posted by one of my friends on the Facebook few days ago. The word 'alone' struck me somewhere and I started ruminating and pondering over it.
Yes, Indeed! It is difficult to be alone.
But before we proceed further we need to separate being alone from lonely the only. Being alone is not necessarily being lonely although it may be your choice at the moment.
This brought back my memories of 1977 as a 24 year old guy alone in Chandrapur. Chandrapur is a district HQ in Vidarbha region of Maharashtra. Then it was a godforsaken village and have no idea what the situation there is today. The topic today is about being Alone, rather than about Chandrapur and what the hell I was doing there , a person born and brought up in Bombay.
I remembered one recent incident where a teenage girl having all the room to herself was upset with idea that her brother will be back for a week's holiday and she has to share her room with him. All of us want and need our space and at the same time all we were taught from primary school to the post graduate level says that humans are social animals and we have a strong desire to belong to an individual or a team or a larger group or family. This is a paradox. We need privacy and we need to belong to a group and feel good about getting a sense of belonging.
What is the explanation or conclusion?
Our ancient scriptures to modern psychology solves this mystery. Both, the need for privacy or Me time and need for a sense of belonging exist is us simultaneously. It is just like being happy and sorrowful at the same time. To share a practical example, you can see the scene when a girl gets married and says good bye to her family. The entire family including the bride are happy for her and at the same time they are crying because they will be missing her everyday like they enjoyed her presence till today.
The solution is to accept that 'Alone' time is very essential for personal growth. A fresh graduate leaving his home for a job and staying alone is an great opportunity to utilize this time and space efficiently and productively.
Recalling my days in Chandrapur being alone, I remember spending time reading some good books, reflecting on my career till then, opportunities in future. Thinking about mistakes and writing letters to friends and family back home in Thane etc. This alone time was also utilized to learn how to meet different people and quickly establish working relationships and learning from them. The few years spent alone were worthwhile, looking back.
However, recently while talking to many guys with alone time at disposal, got different responses. Times have changed. They said is boring. Everybody said they looked forward to the weekend and when the weekend finally arrived they did not know what to do and waited for Monday to start the work. Most of them were either planning a movie or brunch and evening with medicine from Dr Vijay Mallya. The reason is your so called 'Me Time' does not provide you a structure. When with family, the family forces a bit of structure but in Alone Time without any structure and nobody to direct you the Mind tends to go haywire.
Let me clarify before going further that I am not against brunch, movies or alcohol. This is fine to take care of your basic needs and satisfy lower needs. The higher needs like personal growth need some kind of discipline to get up at a particular time and then some physical activity like brisk walk or going to Temple or Church and meeting people over brunch. Any task which will challenge your skill and intelligence like Crossword or Sudoku. Playing a Dart game or visiting Bowling Alley which gives you some feedback. Even reading a good book and writing a blog can be great idea for consider.
To conclude, it is all about allocation. Just like in managing our Money. Here Time is Money and how we utilize this great resource finally decides our future. Monitor time available to you and keep some kind of note how it is being utilized. Your success entirely depends on your ability to allocate certain amount of time for higher needs.
A recent study has confirmed that students who allocate few hours each week for academic studies cut off from Television and phones (landline and mobile) are mostly found in 90+ percentile. No surprises for this discovery which is commonsense and our ancestors knew just be curious observation.
Yes, Indeed! It is difficult to be alone.
But before we proceed further we need to separate being alone from lonely the only. Being alone is not necessarily being lonely although it may be your choice at the moment.
This brought back my memories of 1977 as a 24 year old guy alone in Chandrapur. Chandrapur is a district HQ in Vidarbha region of Maharashtra. Then it was a godforsaken village and have no idea what the situation there is today. The topic today is about being Alone, rather than about Chandrapur and what the hell I was doing there , a person born and brought up in Bombay.
I remembered one recent incident where a teenage girl having all the room to herself was upset with idea that her brother will be back for a week's holiday and she has to share her room with him. All of us want and need our space and at the same time all we were taught from primary school to the post graduate level says that humans are social animals and we have a strong desire to belong to an individual or a team or a larger group or family. This is a paradox. We need privacy and we need to belong to a group and feel good about getting a sense of belonging.
What is the explanation or conclusion?
Our ancient scriptures to modern psychology solves this mystery. Both, the need for privacy or Me time and need for a sense of belonging exist is us simultaneously. It is just like being happy and sorrowful at the same time. To share a practical example, you can see the scene when a girl gets married and says good bye to her family. The entire family including the bride are happy for her and at the same time they are crying because they will be missing her everyday like they enjoyed her presence till today.
The solution is to accept that 'Alone' time is very essential for personal growth. A fresh graduate leaving his home for a job and staying alone is an great opportunity to utilize this time and space efficiently and productively.
Recalling my days in Chandrapur being alone, I remember spending time reading some good books, reflecting on my career till then, opportunities in future. Thinking about mistakes and writing letters to friends and family back home in Thane etc. This alone time was also utilized to learn how to meet different people and quickly establish working relationships and learning from them. The few years spent alone were worthwhile, looking back.
However, recently while talking to many guys with alone time at disposal, got different responses. Times have changed. They said is boring. Everybody said they looked forward to the weekend and when the weekend finally arrived they did not know what to do and waited for Monday to start the work. Most of them were either planning a movie or brunch and evening with medicine from Dr Vijay Mallya. The reason is your so called 'Me Time' does not provide you a structure. When with family, the family forces a bit of structure but in Alone Time without any structure and nobody to direct you the Mind tends to go haywire.
Let me clarify before going further that I am not against brunch, movies or alcohol. This is fine to take care of your basic needs and satisfy lower needs. The higher needs like personal growth need some kind of discipline to get up at a particular time and then some physical activity like brisk walk or going to Temple or Church and meeting people over brunch. Any task which will challenge your skill and intelligence like Crossword or Sudoku. Playing a Dart game or visiting Bowling Alley which gives you some feedback. Even reading a good book and writing a blog can be great idea for consider.
To conclude, it is all about allocation. Just like in managing our Money. Here Time is Money and how we utilize this great resource finally decides our future. Monitor time available to you and keep some kind of note how it is being utilized. Your success entirely depends on your ability to allocate certain amount of time for higher needs.
A recent study has confirmed that students who allocate few hours each week for academic studies cut off from Television and phones (landline and mobile) are mostly found in 90+ percentile. No surprises for this discovery which is commonsense and our ancestors knew just be curious observation.
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